Collide
by nataliewrites4610
Summary: I do not own Collide by Howie Day. I also have no rights to Divergent, by Veronica Roth. Tris tries to commit suicide, and these are Tobias's thoughts. WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED. IT IS A TRIGGER PROBABLY. THEREFORE, I CLAIM NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY EMOTIONAL DAMAGE CAUSED BY THIS FIC.


A/n: Okay, hi guys. It's me, Natalie. For those who reviewed "See You When I See You", thank you so much. This is a sG fic based on "Collide" by Howie Day. Tris has a tendancy toward suicide and self-harm, and this is Tobias's feelings after her latest attept. Okay, here goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent. I'm not a guy, so I can't own Collide.

"The dawn is breaking, I light shining through."

I sit with her, hand brushing over her forehead, as she sleeps. She sleeps so peacefully, but the girl inside isn't peaceful, not at all.

"You're barely waking, and I'm tangled up in you. Yeah."

Her eyes slowly fludder open, but you can tell she's still under the mood stabilizer. I grab her hand, press it to my chest, and wish that my heartbeat could help, in some way.

"I'm open, you're closed. Where I'll follow, you'll go."

I know that if I died, it would push her over the edge. She almost did it this time. I can tell it's taken a tole on her—her eyes have a haunted look that probably won't ever go away, but that I wish would leave her face.

"I worry I won't see your face, light up again. Even the best fall down sometimes; even the wrong words seem to rhyme."

I hold her close, burrying my face in her hair. Her hands go to mine, and we st there, clutching each other, until I bend my kneck down, and softly kiss her. Our hearts share the same beat, but her rhythom is so much slower—sadder.

"Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow find, you and I collide."

I doubt that everything will work out. That she will fight another day against her battle with depression. Every night, I grip her tight, like if I let go, she will have vanished from my life. I love her. I love her, I love her. Damnit, I love her, and she's disappearing from me, swallowed by depression.

"I'm quiet you know, you make a first impression. I find I'm scared, to know I'm always on your mind."

Is she doing it because of something I did or said? Am I doing the wrong things to help her? What is causing her downward spiral?

"Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the stars refuse to shine."

She's my star. And she's not shining. In fact, it's as if she wants to go supernova—to die on me. I hold her still closer, as the first sob leaves her lips.

"Out of the back, you fall in time. I somehow find, you and I collide."

"I love you, sweetheart." I whisper, softly stroking her hair, as her heavily bandaged arms go around me. I kiss her temple, hoping to soothe away her pain, if only for a minute.

"Don't stop here. I've lost my place. I'm close behind."

"You die, I die too." I say, rubbing her back, feeling her clutch me tighter. "That's why I'm still here." she whispers, breaking. No, not so much breaking, as already broken.

"Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of the doubt that fills your mind, you finally find you and I collide."

"I love you, Tobias." I clutch her as tightly to me as I can, and stroke her hair.

"You finally find, you and I collide."

"I love you, too, Beatrice." She burries her head into my shirt, and closes her eyes.

"You finally find, you and I collidedd0

I hold her, hoping that she can find a new way forward. Hoping we won't ever be here again.

"You finally find, you and I collide."

I know, though, that I will be here for her through all of it. I also know that her recovery won't be easy, but we have each other, and always will.

"You finally find you and I collide."

"I love you, Beatrice." I whisper, stating the obvious, but feeling as if ow can't say it enough. It's all we have in this moment, our love for each other. I want to make sure she knows how deeply I love her—no matter what.

A/n: Well... that was hard to write, so I hope you enjoyed this! Alrighty, peace!

Natalie.


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